The Eye of Patrick

So i am updating my journal and I feel a surreal mood of sorts, I am now working in Osaka and teaching English to a student. The reason that i consider a surreal moment is the beauty of being alone among the crazyness of the people around you. I swear one day I just want to stand in a crowd of people and twirl around with my hands open and feel so free. It is a crazy feeling. People say it is horrible for you to have to take the train to osaka as it is about a hour each way for only a two hour lesson. But i say no as i am a person who enjoys movement and the train is that beautiful thing, it is kind of like a metaphor to my life in some ways. Since i have left Calgary I have not turned back and have kept on moving forward towards the final resting place. But along this trip I have picked up people and let people off as the have entered and exited my life. Sometimes I am alone along the journey and other times i am crammed together on an a local train to Kyobashi, but every moment is a movement of progress.

I think i have found myself to a degree in Japan, I know it is cliche to say that and I do not want to follow in the steps of most gaijans that come to Japan and fall in love with it, i want my love for Japan to be an unique experience. I feel comfortable in Japan because it is an interesting culture that gels with my personality so well. It is hard to explain it, but in a country where I can’t read a thing hardly and only speak a few words of the language I feel comfortable, i feel like i belong. That is not the case at Gaidai where I feel it is a different reality from Japan, where I wish i could break free from. But I feel I belong in japan when i go somewhere and enjoy it, whether it is alone or with friends. The people i find are so kind to me, but at the same time, i can be alone. I think because I am so different that i feel so comfortable. In some ways I don’t want to return to Canada as I worry I will return to normality and to a life of blah. But at the same time I miss some aspects of Peterborough, mostly my friends, i miss Trent. Some how the most unique and wonderful people have ended up there.

The World is a place of imperfections of where things you want to make your perfect world can be found, bu they can’t be found in one place, so somehow you have to either accept the imperfections of your world or spend a entire life searching for it. I do not know what my road will be.